The (Revised) History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

From astronomer and science humorist Eric Schulman comes this amusing, 200-word history of the universe. You may have come across it before; it has enjoyed wide popularity and has been updated from its original version. Its concision appeals to me.

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Matter domination. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Large-scale structure formation. Violent relaxation. Virialization. Galaxy formation. Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Universal acceleration. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Carbon dioxide solution. Water photodissociation. Escaping hydrogen. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Polymerization. Coacervate formation. Molecular reproduction. Protein construction. Fermentation. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms! Oxidation. Mutation. Evolution. Cell differentiation. Respiration. Sexual reproduction. Multicellular organisms. Evolutionary diversification. Fossilization. Trilobite domination. Land exploration. Comet collision. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Homo sapiens manifestation. Language acquisition. Glaciation. Innovation. Religion. Animal domestication. Fermentation. Food surplus production. Inscription. Civilization! Exploration. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Expansion. Scientific explanation. Colonization. Revolution. Constitution. Vaccination. Industrialization. Emancipation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Migration. World conflagration. Suffrage extension. Penicillin. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. Computerization. United Nations. Space exploration. Population explosion. Environmental degradation. Superpower confrontation. Liberation. Terrorism. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Inflation. Internet expansion. Globalization. Reunification. Dissolution. Union. World Wide Web creation. Composition. Terrorism. Invasion. Extrapolation?


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